Writing a journal, is it necessary?

The habit of writing journal itself has been my favorite thing to do. 

In here, I won't tell you to write journal as a form of showing gratitude, etc. I'm just too melancholic. My journal is a way of me to express other expressions, which for now, pouring out what I feel is what matter the most for me. 

I think writing journal is one thing I have in mind every time I felt overwhelmed of people around me, my life situation or things I see or read. The habit of writing journal starts itself as I found a mini diary book with Hello Kitty cover on it which I got from my ex kindergarten student's snacks package. I thought Oh okay why not? Rather then the book itself becomes a waste as no one wants to write on it.

So here it is, I already have more than five journals in my bookshelf. I don't hide them, I just put them there. As I grow up, my friends circle has shrink to be very small circle. People I trust to talk to or share opinions and experiences are automatically being filtered. I also personally think, that not all matters can be spoken out to people.

First, because not all people can understand your feelings and ever been in your position. I just don't want to spend my time to convince people to think or feel like me. But sometimes it usually hurted my feelings more. Do you ever ask yourself, "Why they don't understand me?"

Second, I don't know why the people I talked to showed me their disbelieve faces, i could see them thinking and had disagreement - doesn't mean I do hope them to always agree with me. You looked for people to share, is to know you'll still have at least someone to understand you. To listen to you. An agreement from them is only a bonus. 

Third, sometimes it ended up with them talking of their experiences than mine. So yeah, doesn't matter, let me listen to them. Sometimes I tried to make it back on track, too, though it charged some of my energy.

Last, be aware of whom you talked to. I was in shocked to know, some of my stories might not end up with them, it sometimes ended up to other people knowing. Privacy is needed and important, no?

Tired of feeling that, here I go, I take out my gel pen and journal. Writing needs a mood to pour out of all of your thoughts and feelings, so never try to force yourself to write when you don't have the mood. My experience told me that using a proper pen which feels comfortable and can move quick as my hand dances is also important. 

Journal. You can use any book to write, even random paper works, too. I ever use Hello Kitty diary book with hard cover, A4 sized writing book for students, and bullet journal. I prefer any book as long as they have the pages thickness that makes me comfortable enough to write on the next page. The smoothness on the page is also playing role.

Writing doesn't acquires any skill. You just write, the way like when you're telling your stories to your friend. In here, our journal is the friend. Anything. You can write anything.

I started by writing mostly everything I had been through in that day. The people that made roles in my life are also written there. How much it hurts or how much I don't want to be that kind of person. How amazing that person, how can s/he can think so amazingly like that. 

I write down every inspiration, idea, desire and dream on my journal. Have I ever read them back? So far, no. Not yet. I ever opened them in a glance and yeah sometimes my eyes stopped on some parts. 

Then, I write down some movies and thoughts about it. I'm a severe thinker. I used to think it's maybe nice to have your journal decorated with colorful and aesthetic washi tapes, stickers, and colorful tombow marker. No. 

Aesthetic or not it's just a perspective and preference of each person. 

This year, I prefer my journal to be minimalist. It saved my energy, time and so that I could write fast. You just don't realize how fast your brain swift from one thing to another. So, I wrote down some points that suddenly pop up to my mind by leaving empty spaces, enough for me to finish the previous writing to continue with the new one.

What's your purpose to write the journal? You better think and know your purpose. I found mine, to write fast and everything. So ugly writing doesn't matter. Forgetting my thoughts and what I want to write? It very matters to me. 

Did I write down my secrets? Only journal and I know. 

I go back to the front start to write down the date. For me, dates are very important. Some things that surprise me while I'm writing is that it really makes me reflect a lot. A lot of things like: the people around me, the way I reacted to each circumstance, the way I think. 

At the moment you thought and reacted on a certain circumstance, you would probably it was your best reaction and decision, but once you wrote them down, it woken you up. It's called reflection - in my opinion. 

So what is the good side of me writing journal? I know who are the persons I have to keep in my life, persons who are toxic for me, how I react and solve problems, how I think, what I like, what I don't like, what my taste looks like, what my unforgettable experiences are, what I had done in one day, what's my favorite movie or music, quotes, books I read and the thought of it, inspiration photos, and places I want to go, what person I want to be, my plannings and a lot. 

To be said, my plannings mostly are only planning, but at least I ever think of that. I wanted to thank myself for at least think first, rather than I have no picture of future at all. I know Carpe Diem, I know Seize the Day, I know No worry of what future brings, I know...

But I do ever think Live is only once that blinded my eyes, too. I won't spread the worry-of-future feelings here, but I personally think At least be prepared, it won't hurt.(I really hope I will always remember I ever typed this). haha.

I learnt a lot by writings. 

Writing is somehow like tattooing your brain.

It really leave an essence on your brain. You still might forget it, but you have the feelings and a trace of thought of it. Anything. Anything you ever thought and wrote about on it. 

Try writing. Anything. On anything. Microsoft word, blog, notes on the phone, you named it. Calendar, print paper, book, or journal. Write and write.

Just write, think during the session. 

I can only write a sentence. It doesn't matter.

Why I can't write like other people? They write for pages. Don't think of other people, it's your journal. You can write what the f you want or how you like it.

I want my journal to be aesthetic, neat, and cool. Believe me you'll get tired of writing neatly after few paragraphs. Aesthetic is only the matter of perspective. Cool is the matter how you write and bring the story in it. You're cool!

Just write...

 Just write...

   With no burden....